"Please Stop..."

Did you every have a day where you actually, literally said....

“Please stop yelling at me, just stop yelling at me; I’m trying to help you.”

I said that statement at least three times today to two different patients. That sums up my day today; not the best one in the world of healthcare. But on a lighter note, one of my co-workers is throwing Joel and I a BBQ to celebrate our engagement and he sent out a very funny invite today; which made me laugh.

The Challenge...

As Joel has stated in his blog; he loves challenges and adventures. Ever so often he likes to bring me along for the ride and needless to say my life has been a little more exciting since being with him. (I supposed marriage is one of the bigger adventures that we go on in our lives!) With that being said, what I will write next probably won’t come as too much of surprise. So the other night (okay, so it was like a month ago) Joel proposed a challenge for the both of us to consider. What does it entail you ask? Well let me tell ya!

The challenge: For the entirety of the summer and fall (possibly winter, but I haven’t agreed fully to that yet) we are not allowed to drive solely to the grocery store. So no “Just a quick run to the grocery store” if I need one item to complete my amazing eight course meal. I either have to use what I have or I have to bike to the grocery store. Also a caveat of the challenge is that the time spent at the grocery store cannot be the main chunk of time in my day (i.e. I can’t go to the grocery store and do all my grocery shopping and then stop quickly at the pharmacy to pick up shampoo). Lastly, we should try and bike AS MUCH AS WE CAN to the store and use the car only for those big stock up shopping trips.
So I bet you’re asking “so what’s allowed?” Well here are some examples, I can stop and do all my grocery shopping on my way home from work because the majority of my day is spent at work and I will just be driving home, no extra car trips necessary! Or we can stop at the store on our way home from church. Of course riding your bike or walking is allowed and also very encouraged!

Now the question becomes, “what’s the purpose or the point?” Well, that’s pretty simple. We should be more intentional in our lives, we need to think more critically about how we spend our time. Preparation is is key, we have to think intentionally and critically about what we need for groceries. For me, that means planning ahead by looking at my fridge/cupboards and writing a grocery list; which reduces those "impulse buys". (Though I've never really had a problem with "impulse buys" due to my mom's steadfast rule of one "fun" item per shopping trip.) Also, it helps save resources as we aren’t using more gas than we need to go to the store. Also it makes us use WHAT we have and not let it sit in our cupboards or fridges, going bad because we got something else. Also, we both live within a mile of multiple grocery stores that will easily fill our bellies. Lastly, the more you bike to the grocery store the less feasible it is to buy ice cream and beer (though I’ll never give those two things up!)

So we’ve been trying this out (being fully committed) for about 3 weeks and I really like it! Last night as we were biking back to my house it was so simple to stop by Trader Joe’s and pick up our ingredients for dinner, and I enjoyed it! If any of you are challenge junkies or even if you’re not (like me!) I would suggest picking up this idea. You’ll be surprised at how easy and fun it can be!

VisualDNA.....

Read my VisualDNA™     Get your own VisualDNA™

Wanna go on an adventure?

So for those of you I have not talked to in awhile or email in awhile; I am sorry that I have not talked/emailed sooner but I gotta post this! :) So I have some exciting news......




Joel and I are getting married! Heeheeheee! :)

So it all happened on Friday, March 30th, 2007 and it was a totalsuprise. So Joel and I had plans (so I thought) to go eat at this amazing irish pub on capital square. So when he showed up on Friday decked out in his rain gear (it was treatening rain) I was pretty confused.

"Ready to go on an adventure?"

How could I resist; so after throwing on some rain gear we proceeded outside and low and behold........ there was a canoe in the yard! So we walked it over to Lake Wingra (right accross from my house) and put 'er in. After being the only ones to be paddling around we eventually paddled up a creek to an overlook in the arboretum. After carefully getting out of the canoe (I am glad that I'm a Boundary Waters girl; there was some tricky footings!) we went up to a stone bench and sat down.

And then began the romance, Joel started out by telling me how much he loved me and how he loves to choose to love me each day. Then before I knewn it, there he was, on his knees and saying the words

"I want to choose to love you everyday for the rest of our lives. Will
you marry me?"

My response.......


"Of course, of course, of course! Yes I will marry you!"

And with that Joel slipped the ring (a very beautiful ring!) on my finger. The best part about the ring...he had the word "choose" engraved in the band; because we have talking alot lately about how you have to choose to love someone. It takes work and commitment and you have to make the choice to love someone everyday; in good and bad.


After I was able to stop giggling for about 30 seconds, Joel took me to Quivey's Grove (an amazing restaurant) and he had reserved a private room for just the two of us to enjoy. After an amazing dinner we went to Cub foods to get some chocolate and then rode the dump truck ride for $0.50. Now that's a way to celebrate! :)

We wanted to share with all of you our news and we hope that you are all doing well; all over the world (we've realized, we have a good amount of international friends)! Thanks in advance for your support!

Who's Got Control?

Ahhhhh.... what a question. I don't know if it is just my nature or being a woman or being a fallen human but I love control; and I want it. My mom was recently here from India (Yeah!) and one morning before I left for work we got into the topic of how most of the world's religions salvation are based on human control. My mom pointed out that when looking at the world's religions most, if not all, are based on man's works and man's control for salvation. It almost goes like this:

"Here is a list of acts and prayers you can do to be saved; now go. You have control of when and where you do these acts; you have the control." The center of that relationship is Man not God; and it is centered on man having control of his journey of salvation.

But when you look at Christianity it is the only one in which the core belief and salvation comes not from man and what man can do but from God. There is nothing that I can possibly do perfectly for true salvation. I must admit and acknowledge my own sin and let God have control. Only He can save, only He can redeem.

"Look at the fall of Adam and Eve." My mom said. "Original sin occured because of Adam and Eve's desire to have control over their lives and over the Garden of Eden."

I soon realized that so much of my sin, well let's be honest ALL, comes from my desire to have control. It seems like I've learned this lesson over and over in my life but it still is present. What is it about that need for control? And why is it so hard to give it up?

But there is such freedom and peace when we give up that control, may we let go and truly be free.

Dot, Dot, Dot (...)

So this is an entry that is dedicated to Joel. The other night Joel made an observation that I tend to title my blogs with trailing dots. My explanation was that I feel my blog writing begins with a single thought that flows (like a creek leading into a river) into an entry. So here's to you, Joel. Dot, Dot, Dot.

Big Questions....

Middle School students get a bad rep; sadly they get written off as not being able to think critically about life or God. I am continually learning that this is not true and there are gems of knowledge in those heads of theirs. So, I help co-lead a 7th grade girl bible study with two other women and we see that this reputation is not quite true. A few weeks ago our lifegroup curriculum asked our girls to take all that they have been learning this year and to think critically about the concept “Love God. Love People. Period.” The point of this exercise was for the students to think of questions that relate to this theme and then we as a group would think of the answers. We had each girl write down two questions; one of which could be a “silly” question. We collected our note cards and what followed was an amazing list of questions that are relevant not only to teens but to adults as well. So I thought I would list some of the questions for you to ponder how you would respond.

My friends aren’t as religious as I am, they don’t go to church as often and they say their church is boring. How can I help them with that?

Why do people say mean things to others for no reason?

How can I not gossip? Or change the subject?

What other way besides praying can we connect with God on a daily basis?

How can I find a way to make the bible more interesting?

Does God really care about the way we dress?

Is it wrong to have boyfriends at our age?

Is it okay not to talk to people that you don’t like? (like if they are mean)

Why do what brand of clothes you where define who you are?

Why do people start rumors?

Look at these questions; I struggle and ask these same questions in my life. I wish there was a tape recorder that night so that you could hear the answers to their own questions. It was good to hear how they struggle as they are growing up in a world that tells them to live the opposite of how God calls us to live. It is amazing to see these girls grow into young women who really think about God and try and live Him out in their lives.

As we were wrapping up the night our lifegroup came up with a challenge for ourselves; which was to go a whole day without complaining. (Note: this was one of the students ideas, I can’t say I was too excited about the challenge. It’s hard not to complain!) So we as a lifegroup decided Monday was the day; no complaining for the whole day. And on Thursday we made sure to check and see how well we each did at this task.

So this is a testament to the reality that Middle Schoolers are complicated and beautiful. They can think and process the world in such a wonderful way that we lose as we get older. May we all approach the throne of God as children; with childlike faith.

True Love....

This weekend Joel and I attended a wedding of one of my old college roommates. It was a beautiful and simple wedding and you could tell that this was love. I hate to say it but it was one of the first weddings I’ve gone to where the bride didn’t seem tense and was completely at peace. She looked content, relaxed and full of joy. As I watched Heather say her vows; it seemed as if there was no doubt and no fear. It was peace. I thought that was an amazing sight; there was no rush, no worry over the reception or if the music was just right. She was content and that was good.

Snow Day...

“It's coming down 

Snow lays on the chainfields 
There's a blessing on the ground 

It's coming down, 

If your lanes are crammed with children 
There's a blessing on your town. 

On a lucky Monday, Mrs. Braintree 
All your lanes are waxen silver 
And the stores are loot for vagabonds 
It's coming down 
Go home! Go home and take a snow day, Mrs. Braintree! 

Mrs. Braintree, you're a chilly northern woman 
Go home from yonder bus stop 
Because there's a blessing on the ground 
Mrs. Braintree, it is written 
When the snows come over Dixie 
All the roads are closed and the stores are loot for vagabonds.”

Trip Shakespeare “Snow Day”

So from Sunday night through Monday evening we officially received around 6 inches of beautiful, white, sparkling snow! I was reminded how fun it is to spend almost a whole day playing in fresh soft powder that seems to soften the fall as one gets ready to make a sweet snow angel. Thanks to Martin Luther King Jr. I was given the gift of having Monday off to relax. And what better way to relax than to enjoy six inches of new snow than to play around outside. Joel and I found ourselves giggling (do men giggle? okay probably not, so I giggled and he laughed) and getting in snowball fights at Indian Lake County Park right outside of Madison. It was one of the best and one of the most relaxing days; and I certainly needed it after my previous work week! So grab your snowshoes, head outside and then enjoy some hot cocoa!

Transitions.....

Sitting alone in a car for more than an hour tends to lead to interesting one-sided conversations with myself. (I suppose I could be poetic and call them “reflections”.)These past few weekends I have had the opportunity to spend a good amount of time alone in a car driving back and forth from Eau Claire to Minneapolis to Madison and back around. Generally, I am not really a fan of solo car rides, I tend to get bored and usually end up having a conversation with myself in my head. I would much rather spend my car ride with someone; even if we don’t talk it’s nice to have that companionship. But tonight I thought I’d share my ‘conversation’ and thoughts that were floating through this little brain of mine.

Life really is a series of transitions. I think that I have realized this more and more in the past couple of years as I’ve transitioned into the real world. It seems like the past 10 years or so of my life have been transitions into different stages of life. First it’s going to High School then onto Sawbill (five days after High School graduation) where I began my transition into College. (I am very thankful for Sawbill; it opened my eyes to different people and forced me to choose to live out my faith. It is much harder to be a christian when surrounded by people who are not christians; and who will tell you why they don’t like christians.) Then onto college where friends are made and lots of giggling occurs; and slowly one begins to grow into a young adult. Onto first not getting into Nursing school and then being accepted into a program in a city where I know no one. Next was learning how to cope with transitioning into a new city when most of my support is more than three hours away and learning how to find new supports. Then comes one of the biggies; graduation from college. No longer is one considered a “college student” and now one is expected to “get a job, use that degree and pay your bills”. (I know it sounds bleak, but I won’t lie, I like working and knowing that I can support myself.) Along with having that first “real” professional job, I had to transition into what kind of Nurse I want to be and how I want my nursing practice to be shaped. And learning how to transition into the realization that I made the wrong decision for my first real Nursing job. Then transitioning into the second job in my career; which is proving to be a far better choice!

There are some special transitions that I have loved in the past year and a half; and they include someone special. (Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge) Who knew that the transition from “that guy at Melissa’s birthday party” to friends to “maybe we’re more than friends?” to “oh we are definitely more than friends” to learning about loving someone, could be so amazing? I think this has and continues to be the best transition yet in my life. One that everyday grows deeper, better and stronger; even while we were a half a world apart.

When I look over some, the very few transitions I have experienced it makes me wonder about the transitions in my future and the new experiences they will bring. One of my favorite Mark Rothko paintings expresses this concept well ; it all seems to blend together to make a beautiful creation.

Is There a Barber in the House?

So I must apologize for this post, but I must be riding high on the book I am reading (mentioned in my last post). But this is acutally an article which shows how nurses are essential for healthcare and we are an INTEGRAL player in the healthcare team. Sorry it's so long, but I hope you enjoy. (This article was found in the New York Times, for proper "citing")

"Is There a Barber in the House?

By LARRY ZAROFF, M.D. and JONATHAN ZAROFF, M.D.
Published: December 19, 2006

In our culture the hair industry is huge — shampoos, conditioners, coloring, cutting, shaping, styling. For “hair-loss treatment” alone, Google conjures up 749,000 references. Some people undergo surgical procedures, sometimes uncomfortable and expensive, to implant hair.

Total hair loss is often an unfortunate and undesirable complication of the agents used to treat and cure cancer. Yet baldness — the hairless look — can for some represent spirituality and religion, or for others may suggest that they are athletic, smart, cool, reeking of testosterone.

Depending on where you are in your life, what you are doing, your age and sex, baldness is loved or hated — or just accepted. Baldness can be bought and bought off. But it is not a medical treatment, at least not since shaving the head for lice was stopped.

In one patient, however, shaving the head was life saving.

A 50-year-old woman was admitted to the hospital with complaints of severe weakness and difficulty breathing. She had been quite healthy until the afternoon of the admission, with no history of serious illnesses.

The doctors at the university hospital where she became a patient are known for using their brains. They also use their stethoscopes wisely, and observe closely how a patient looks.

On examination this one was sweaty and had pinpoint pupils, and her lungs were wheezy. But unlike physicians of centuries ago, doctors today do not regularly use their noses. (In the 18th century, doctors could make diagnoses of kidney failure, diabetes and liver disease by smelling a patient.) For this woman, the diagnosis remained obscure for the next hour as her breathing got more labored and she became comatose.

A tube was placed in her windpipe and she was attached to a breathing machine. Then an experienced nurse, with good sense and a good sense of smell, came to the rescue. The nurse noted that the patient had a peculiar odor, resembling garlic, most prominently from her hair. The unusual odor raised the suspicion of insecticide poisoning with organophosphates.

The patient was immediately treated with atropine and 2-PAM to reverse the effects of the poison, while blood was sent to the lab to verify the diagnosis. Each time she received the medications she woke and improved, but then lapsed back into a coma with increasing lung problems. Her skin was washed and her hair was shampooed several times with no lasting improvement.

Since the primary contamination seemed to be in her hair, her head was shaved. After that she improved rapidly, her medicines were tapered and she regained consciousness. Soon she was able to breathe on her own.

The lab reports verified that the nurse had been correct. The patient had been poisoned with an organophosphate insecticide. Now her doctors wondered, How did her hair become impregnated with insecticide in quantities to bring her to the brink of death? This was no casual exposure. She denied a suicide attempt — swallowing would have been more direct. Nor could it have been attempted murder — there are easier ways to administer poisons more covertly.

The answer came from the patient when she fully awakened. She remembered exactly what she had done before becoming ill: her usual activities, except that she had gotten her hair shampooed by a neighbor.

The neighbor, when contacted, was willing to bring in the shampoo. Chagrined, she showed up shortly, bringing two containers. One held shampoo. The other, a similar jug, contained an organophosphate insecticide. Both receptacles were the same size, the labels old and blurred.

I must have used the wrong one, she said, when told that her friend was just recovering from insecticide poisoning...

...In this case, the patient recovered well, after the correct diagnosis by a nurse with a sensitive nose, proper treatment with drugs and the elimination of the insecticide by balding."

Thanks to nurses.....

Here is an interesting story and excerpt from the book I am reading; “Nursing Against the Odds” by Suzanne Gordon. I found this interesting bit of history about the renowned Mayo Clinic and St. Mary’s Hospital in Rochester, MN. (As a little background, back in the 19th and early 20th century nuns usually were trained in nursing and were nurses themselves.)

“If you click on history, the website tells you that Dr. William Worrell Mayo joined the Sisters of Francis in building the Saint Mary’s hospital, from which the Mayo Clinic grew. What this description leaves out, Sioban Nelson tells us, is the story behind the official history. As the website informs us, the Saint Mary’s Hospital was built after a great tornado practically flattened the city in 1883. The nuns took the injured to the Academy of the Lady of Lourdes, their motherhouse. Recognizing the need for a hospital, they went for help to the physician William Wordell Mayo, Charlie and Will’s father. What the website leaves out is that he insisted that the city could not support a hospital. The nuns persisted, raising the money, built the building and got the St. Mary’s hospital going. When Dr. Mayo had nothing to do but walk through the doors, he agreed to work with the sisters of St. Francis who ran the hospital. As Nelson explains “It took the sisters four years to raise the money for the hospital for which the Mayo’s made their own! Doctors sought the advise of the outstanding surgical nurse, Sister Fabian. For years the Mayo’s would not operate without her, but this is unknown outside the community”... The Mayo clinic has become an almost Lourdes-like shrine to doctors’ dominance and to faith in the power of heroic medicine, with nursing practically invisible to it’s reputation... When I went to Rochester several years ago, the cab driver ferrying me in from the airport boasted, “We’ve got the Mayo clinic
here in Rochester. It’s the best hospital with the best doctors and the best medicine.”

“And what about the best nursing?” I asked.”

I hope this helps you to understand the importance of nurses in the healthcare field. If you get a chance, pick up this book; better yet, I’ll lend it to you! :)

I Wish My Mom Were Here.....

So tonight is one of those nights that I wish my mom was here in the US. It is a rare occasion that I get to watch ER, usually my Thursday nights are spent with Middle School students at my church. But this Thursday I got to stay home and relax (which seems like a foreign concept to me at times, how sad). So I decided to partake in an old tradition of watching the Thursday night sitcoms and ER. When I was in High School I used to watch ER with mom after she got home from work at about 8 pm; Thursdays were always her “odd” day; meaning that she went into work at 11 am and would get home at 8 at night. So we would sit and watch ER and my dad would always ask me questions such as:

“What are they saying, Shannon? You’re gonna be a nurse you should know this!”

And now the usual question is:

“Is that really how it is? What does that mean?”

Now I am able to somewhat answer his questions, but I digress! I remember, one night when I was in college I happened to be watching ER and one particular doctor (that no one liked) got killed by a helicopter. Not less than 10 seconds after it happened my phone rang and the first words out of my mouth were:

“Oh my word! Did you see that!” And then that was immediatly followed by laughter on both our ends of the phone.

Tonight there was another another hilarious moment in the episode (involving a psych patient no less!) and I really wish I could have called my mom and laughed with her! But alas she and my father are up in the Himalaya’s hiking and relaxing on a little vacation; which is something they needed after being in India for four months. So this is a “shout out” to my mom (and dad, you too!) that I miss and love them very much! ER just isn’t the same without you!

Sometimes You Just Need A Good Laugh....

So this blog entry may not seem funny to most of you but my fellow health care workers may just find this pretty funny! So at work today I happened upon a very funny story. In a recent office visit, I found quite an amusing note by one of our physicians. So I thought that I would post one of the funniest things I have read at work in a long time. (This is paraphrased by the way, my memory isn’t that good!)

“In retrospect, the patient believes that the right upper quadrant abdominal pain the patient experienced was due to eating copius amounts of dill pickle potato chips prior to experiencing the abdominal pain. In an effort to determine if this was the cause of the patient's abdominal pain, the patient decided to perform a dill pickle potato challenge; which resulted in the same abdominal pain. The patient has now d/c’d eating dill pickle potato chips and has not experienced abdominal pain as before. It appears that the abdominal pain has resolved upon d/c’ing the dill pickle potato chips. No further action needed at this time.”

Oh how I laughed! I attempted to read this note out to my fellow co-workers but I was laughing too hard! I hope you can enjoy, and be cautioned; apparently dill pickle potato chips can cause right upper quadrant abdominal pain.

On a Lighter note.....

So this is a video link stolen from Jon, he has his favorite video linked on his blog. And this is mine, it is absolutely hilarious! We really should show this in church! So enjoy!



What would to do with $50,000?

This Can't Be Real......

So thanks to my parents I am now the proud owner of a Newsweek magazine pretty much every week. My parents have now forwarded their mail to me (kind of like a reversal of what I did to them while in college) and so I get the chance to check up on some news each week, for free! Well when I picked up the latest issue I was intriuged by a headline of “ Christian Hell House” because when I see a headline that mentions “Christian” and “Hell House”; ya gotta wonder! So I opened to the page listed and proceeded to read a very disturbing article about an “Evangelical” (I would use that word VERY loosely here) christian haunted house. These “hell houses” are stationed (apparently) across the country with the purpose of attracting people who wouldn’t normally go to a church but would go to a haunted house. While reading the article I can’t describe the disgust and the shock I felt as I read how these “Hell Houses” portray sins but with a grotesque twist. As I read the article, I literally began to cry; how can this be real? How can a pastor take the Good News (the true meaning of the word Evangelical!) and turn it into something so heinous? I just don’t understand. Today, the pastor of my church spoke about how Christians are messengers of the Good News and this cannot be the way! How can putting on a play that depicts a young boy reading “Harry Potter” who then turns into a school shooter be a way of showing Jesus? Or how does a woman who goes to a rave and then gets ganged-raped as her “consequence” for going to this party? (I won’t even start on how perverted and disrespectful are their multiple uses of the awful and violent act of rape.) The producers of a Brooklyn “Hell House” even stated that the pastor (original creator) and producers both “agree that probably no souls were saved in Brooklyn this October, but they both also see their collaboration as a success.” Their rationale for “success” was that they were able to give “New Yorkers an oppurtunity to meet Jesus and to get aquainted with the risks of sin.” At the end of the play “Jesus” invites them to repent and be saved, yet the stricken audience “when invited to join the Lord in prayer, all remain silent.” (Rightfully so) What a ludicrious and hurtful way to show people Jesus, this is not the Jesus that I know and who redeems me. The Jesus I know has taken my place and has sacrificed His life to save me. And with that redemption I have found a love from a Holy Father; a love that surpasses anything that I deserve. And it was not made real to me through a perverted display for shock value. It was/is shown to me by people who humbly lead a life that demonstrates God’s love and sacrifice of his own Son. It saddens me that people can now see a match of “Christian Values” and hate (which I feel is demonstrated in these “Hell Houses”). I want to be someone who preaches the Good News of Christ; first by my actions in love and in humility and second by my words which hopefully encourage and build others up. It saddens me that the world can now take this and use it as a reason not to know Christ and can throw it right in my face. How will I respond when that happens? I pray that I will respond with the love of the Lord and that I will seek their forgiveness for this heinous display. As for the creators of this display, I don’t even know what to pray; but I will still pray that the Lord will give me the right words.

One long run...

I think the sign pretty much sums it up!



My cheesiest champion pose! (I had just ate my weight in leftover spaghetti and garlic bread!)



We're still standing!

"What are we doing? Grace? Jess? Anyone?"

So I spent this last weekend giggling, shopping, eating and saying the statement:

“Remind me, why are we doing this again?”

This past weekend my friends Jess, Ashley and I had ourselves a little reunion in Chicago. A reunion that involved one very long run, one that is 26.2 miles long! In May all three of us signed up for the Chicago Marathon and at that time it seemed like a good idea. I mean come on; in our Junior year in college we all ran the Twin Cities Marathon together (Jen also ran it, but unfortunately this time she is Sudan. Though she said that we could all come over and run the Goli-Yei Marathon, which is Jen’s own creation) and that marathon was a fun time. So why not this one? Now, all of us are spread out across the country, what better idea or way to connect than to run a marathon together. The weekend was one of the best weekends that I have had in a month or so, it was fun to reconnect with friends. It was so very fun to walk (and run), talk and giggle; it was as if we didn’t live hundreds of miles away from each other. Overall, it was a good run. Ashley put it best with the statement:

“Just think of it as one of our Sunday long runs, I’m just going on a long run, right?” ~ Ashley
"Yeah sure, just a long run. I can work with that, no worries! It's all mental anyways." ~ Me
" No, we're just crazy. Sorry girls, why did I suggest this?" ~ Jess

It was a very cold run, the temp didn’t get over 40 degrees and the wind cut through my duofold running top at every turn. I guess I should have known, it is called the the Windy city! One good thing about the cold was that it kept me running because if I walked too much I would get very, very cold! Well, we all survived and I even beat my first marathon time by 10 minutes! I was able to run this marathon in 4 hours and 55 minutes and I am still standing. Well, actually, more like hobbling! But, regardless of the pain, I am so very happy to have spent the weekend with some of my best friends! And it was wonderful to experience this with them, again.

(P.S. More pictures to come....)

Be Prepared....

Flexibility: adj. Characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements. Responsive to change; adaptable.

So Joel and I have just finished reading a book named “The Two Sides of Love”, which is a good book about hardsided and softsided love. The first being correction and challenging the ones you love and the second type is nurturing, comforting love. A large part of this book is learning about personality and certain “traits” that people hold. One funny thing about this book is that they assign certain characteristics to different animals (just so everyone knows, yes I am a golden retriever mostly but do have a little bit of lion thrown in), so you’d have to read the book to know fully what I mean by these animals. Some (not all) of the traits that Golden Retrievers hold are enjoying routine, disliking change, adaptability and react to sudden changes. Which really means there are four important words that apply when approaching Golden Retrievers about a change and they are: “Prepare them for change.”

Since reading this book I have found that I like my personality and the fact that I am a Golden Retriever; but it is important to realize that change can be a good thing and routines need to change sometimes (as Joel would say “You gotta mix it up!”). For those of you who don’t know, I work with Middle School students; specifically the 7th grade girls. These girls are hilarious and amaze me each week; they also like to bring their friends along for the ride! I help lead a “small” group bible study and our numbers have grown to about 20 girls each week (obviously not that small)! It had become clear that we needed to split the girls into two different groups because smaller groups help to foster better discussion and helps to focus everyone on the subject. Tonight, we “broke” the news to our girls and they took the news well. The parents, on the other hand, have/had a lot of concerns; which is understandable and appropriate. One thing that I have been trying to remember through this whole time is that I need to remain flexible and adaptable and be “okay” with change. So the advise that was given to me was to have a “spirit of fluidity”, and tonight the changes that had already been made (and that I was prepared for) were tweaked a little bit more. I was surprised at myself that even just saying “don’t react, fast changes are okay!” in my head helped to receive these new changes. I actually feel good with these changes and as I sit write this; I am thankful for people in my life who will remind me to remain calm.

Now I do feel that I won’t probably fully change my personality, because, well I like it and it’s who I am. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t acknowledge that some of those traits can be unproductive at times; as all personality traits that are held by lions, beavers, otters and golden retrievers. It’s important to remember that we need to remain flexible in certain times in our lives (though the other side of the coin; there are times to be definite and flexibility isn’t the right answer.)

Table for One....

So last night, I decided to try something that I have never done before; go out to eat by myself, to a sit down restaurant. I have always been curious how it felt to go to eat at a legitimate (no Subway, no McDonalds) restaurant, party of one. I have always seen this act happen in movies or TV shows and it always looks so “romantic”, what would it be like in real life? (Just to dispell any negative ideas, no I am not a loner, I did have plans with real people last night; just not until later.) So I threw on my coat and walked just down the block to the new Indian restaurant by my house. (Okay, also to clear up any confusion, I have always loved Indian food; even before Joel and my parents moved to India!) As I walked in the door, I was suprised at how busy it was and I was quickly approached by a host...

“How many?”
“Just one, please.”
(Look of confusion on the host’s face)
“Uhhhhh... One? Ummmmmm...Okay, let me see what we have available.”
“How long will it be?”
“Uhhhh......... I think that table (points) over there is about to leave. Maybe five minutes?”
“Okay, sounds good, I’ll just wait.”

From that point on the interactions were somewhat better, I think that the host (who turned into my waiter) got more comfortable with serving a ‘party of one’. As I sat down I took a look around the room and noticed that I wasn’t the only one who had a table alone, there were a two others sitting alone at their tables.After a couple of minutes and a couple of observations of the other parties in the restaurant, an idea popped into my head. What do you think it would be like to combine parties in restaurants? You know, this group of two with that group of four; think of what an interesting concept. Just think of the conversations and new connections that could be made if we all stepped outside of our comfort zones and met and dined with strangers. I remember my parents telling me about one of their anniversary dinners at the
Old Rittenhouse Inn up in Bayfield WI. I have only been there once, but it is by far one of the best places I have ever eaten; the food was spectacular! (Only better was a dinner in Paris when I was 16 and all of my meals at the Angry Trout in Grand Marais, MN! Okay back to the subject at hand!) My parents went there for their 25th wedding anniversary for Saturday dinner and they were seated at one table with many different couples. If I remember correctly, they really enjoyed the opportunity to eat, sit and talk with these couples; all at a different stage of their lives. I thought of that story and wondered how good it might be if that could be duplicated in my dining life. Though I imagine I might get some pretty funny stares if I approached strangers to have dinner with me and I don’t think people would take me seriously.

I found that eating alone was fun to a certain point, but eating with people is better. I found that I was making many observations and conversations in my head; it would have been nice to share those with someone. And when you spill chicken tikka masala on yourself, the only one who’s laughing is you. And that draws even more stares; because first you’ve got bright orange food on your shirt and second, your laughing at yourself.

With all that being said, it was a good experience but one that I might not repeat all that often. I really enjoy having dinner or lunch with friends, it’s one of my favorite activities! I am glad, though, that I at least tried this out!